


The Most Cheerful Vampire Ever

by Telesilla



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-20
Updated: 2005-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-06 04:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is all <a href="http://stewardess.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://stewardess.livejournal.com/"><b>stewardess</b></a>'s fault.  Well and maybe <a href="http://almostnever.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://almostnever.livejournal.com/"><b>almostnever</b></a> can share the blame.</p></blockquote>





	The Most Cheerful Vampire Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stewardess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stewardess/gifts).



By the time Viggo regretted making Orlando a vampire, it was, of course, too late.

"It's not your fault," Viggo's Sire said. "We all make mistakes. I had to kill one of my progeny once."

"You did?" Viggo asked, hoping to be distracted from his current dilemma.

Sean leaned back against his pillow and sighed. "To be fair it was in self defense. How was I to know he was going to side with the Roundheads?" He shook his head. "When he came at me with a stake in his hand screaming that I'd not only condemned him to a life of evil but that I supported the useless monarchy, I didn't have much of a choice."

"Oh," Viggo said, not knowing what to say. It didn't surprise him, as long as he'd known Sean, his Sire had always been autocratic and conservative. "I hope my own political views don't disappoint you too much."

"If I'd begrudged the War for Independence," Sean said with an affectionate stroke of Viggo's bare shoulder, "I'd have never Turned an earnest young Dane serving in the Continental Army."

"You felt sorry for me," Viggo said, looking up at Sean. "I was dying."

"Well I don't adopt every puppy I see dying in the street," Sean replied with a laugh. "Then again, puppies aren't as good in bed as you are."

Discussion of Orlando was tabled then, as Viggo spread his legs and pulled Sean down between them.

He'd never denied his own love of men, even as a mortal, although he'd been discreet. But now, as he shuddered at the feeling of Sean thrusting into him, Viggo realized yet again that sex had never been this good when he was alive.

Much later, as he stood in his studio contemplating his latest canvas -- a large mix of text, photographs and mesmerizing swirls of dark oils -- he felt Sean come in behind him.

"It's good," his Sire said. "Your fans will love it and the critics will eat it up." His voice changed to the plumy tones of an art reviewer. "Once more, Mortensen has managed to capture the melancholy that permeates the vampire's soul."

"Orlando doesn't like it," Viggo said, with a sigh that sounded almost as melancholy as his art.

"Orlando's young yet," Sean said. "He hasn't quite figured out what it's like to bear our burden."

"No, it's just that I don't see why it's such a burden," Orlando said from the doorway. He smiled at his Sire and his Sire's Sire as he came into the studio. "And you knew I was there, so thank you for the lecture disguised as small talk." He was laughing as he spoke however, and the kiss he gave Viggo as he wrapped his arms around him was deep and affectionate.

"I mean look at us," he said once he'd disentangled himself from Viggo. "We're not going to die, we're fucking gorgeous, we have fans who adore our every move, and we end up wealthy and sought after ... this is better than acting, really."

"You might have been a good actor," Viggo says. "Now you'll never have the chance."

"No, but I'm also not dead from a broken back."

"No," Viggo agreed, "you're half dead."

"Oh please," Orlando says scornfully. "I don't feel half dead. I feel bloody -- if you'll pardon the pun -- fantastic."

Realizing that he really didn't want to hear this conversation yet again, Sean murmured something about business to attend to. Feeling a profound sense of relief, he headed back to the main house.

"Don't you miss the sunlight?"

"That's what DVDs are for," Orlando said. "Besides, I'm British. I never missed the sun when I was alive."

"Damnit Orlando, this isn't some kind of game!"

"Isn't it?" Orlando wrapped his arms around Viggo. "Look, everyone says you can't be Turned unless you really want to hold on to life. Unless you really want to live and don't care about what it costs you."

"None of us knew the costs as mortals."

"All I knew was that I was lying there and I could hear the ambulance in he distance and I _knew_ it wasn't going to get there in time. And there you were and you offered and how could I not accept? Didn't you feel the same when Sean Turned you?"

"I suppose so," Viggo replied with a shrug. "It was over 200 years ago."

"Well maybe after 200 years or so, I'll be sufficiently broody," Orlando said, kissing Viggo's neck. "All I know now is that I have a fascinating life, I'm learning to look at the world through different eyes, and I have a gorgeous, talented lover."

"Who you have to share with his Sire."

"Viggo, do you know why I got so drunk at that party? Because Becca was furious with me for flirting with you. Of course she didn't know that I'd seen her snogging my best friend just the day before." Orlando shrugged. "At least I know I have to share you and really, I don't mind. I like Sean."

"Why are you so damned determined to be cheerful?" Viggo snapped. "We live a half-life, condemned to darkness and surviving on the blood of other people. And maybe we can be out now but still we terrify mortals and we'll always be apart."

"I think you like it," Orlando said, pulling away from Viggo to look at him shrewdly. "I mean look at you. You get to hold your gallery openings in the middle of the night, surrounded by beautiful people who want to be seen with you because you have that air of danger. And when you get past the superficial fans, there are people who really know something about art falling all over themselves trying to come up with new ways to describe your unique vision." He paused to take a deep breath, more for emphasis than anything else.

"You thrive on intellectual melancholy, Viggo. And you're good at it; it suits you. Just like Sean's complaining about the good old days when everyone knew his or her place suits him. But ... it's not me. I'm not a broody artist and I haven't lived long enough to decry modern life. Maybe in 100 years I'll be broody and miss the 21st century. But not now."

"No, you'll be too busy falling in love with flying cars," Viggo said with a smile. "It must be difficult for you, living here with Sean and me. Having to put up with...."

"There you go again," Orlando interrupted him. "I don't have to live with you two old fossils, you know. You made that clear after you taught me what I need to know. I live with you," and he leaned forward to kiss Viggo lightly, "because I do love you in all your melancholy broody glory. And I care about Sean too."

Viggo opened his mouth to say something and Orlando shook his head. "Don't. Whatever it is, don't say it." He moved in close again, kissing Viggo harder this time. "You're going to have to just accept that I'm happy here, no matter how bizarre you find the concept of a happy vampire to be. Now come on, Vig. Lie me down here and fuck me hard, and then I'll sit with you while you make art."

_Maybe,_ Viggo thought, as he did exactly what Orlando wanted him to do, _it's not so bad to have Sired the most cheerful vampire in history._

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> This is all [](http://stewardess.livejournal.com/profile)[**stewardess**](http://stewardess.livejournal.com/)'s fault. Well and maybe [](http://almostnever.livejournal.com/profile)[**almostnever**](http://almostnever.livejournal.com/) can share the blame.


End file.
